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Advice, Criticism, Health and Weight Loss
Apr. 18th, 2016 02:11 pmThis meme got me thinking, and therefore I'm writing one of my classically longwinded posts about criticism, advice, health and weight loss. Consider this fair warning to those people who are overly sensitive about the words "fat" and "overweight" that I am using these words interchangeably below.
Why are we so damn worried about other people criticizing us, especially when it comes to how we take care of ourselves? Why do we let it change our course, or hold us back from what we know works for us? Criticism is counterproductive. Ignore it. I've had a lot of conversations with a lot of people recently, and I've been brutally honest with them when they ask me what I'm doing to lose weight. Brutally honest, fact-giving, and noncritical, because who am I to judge when I've only very recently come from the same place they're now at? If you come to me asking for advice then I'm honored, and will be honest and truthful, and I certainly won't patronize you by telling you only what you want to hear. I respect you too much to hold back the truth of what I've learned, from you.
For those people who want to criticize? First lead by example. You'd better be damn-near perfect if you're going to criticize anyone else about anything. If you're good at something then people will come to you for advice, so you don't have to give it away unsolicited. For example: Would you take health advice from people who don't look healthy, and are always complaining about how tired they are? Of course not, so why should you take any other kind of life advice or criticism from either mean-spirited, or misguided well-meaning people? Seek out the people who you know are experts, who you truly look up to, and make their advice and opinions the only ones that matter.
Many people, when they hear about how I now eat, immediately start mentally comparing the way I eat to the way they eat, and calculating all the things that they think are missing in my diet and they have no problem telling me why I should eat differently. Even if they're overweight and unhealthy! They suddenly become an expert in nutrition. It's just their own fear from years of conditioning and false information from so-called experts and people they trust, like their family members and sometimes even their doctor. Most of the time their intentions are good and they're worried about me, and I realize that.
Let me reassure you that I've done my research, I continue to learn, I am being monitored by a physician, I am not deficient in anything and feel great, I'm sleeping better at night (finally) and have lots more energy (without caffeine), so I will continue to do it my way. And, honestly, I would much rather be thin, fit and healthy with the possibility of one or two deficiencies that can be corrected, than an unhealthy, depressed, fat, ticking time bomb who is eating everything that everyone else thinks I should just so they don't have to face their own insecurity, lack of nutritional knowledge, and fears that maybe for their entire life they've been doing it the wrong way, and that, God forbid, mom was wrong.
People don't like change because it is sometimes scary and painful, or it's humiliating to admit that maybe they don't really know. People don't like giving up their comfort food even if it's slowly killing them, so in order not to have to give it up or feel guilty about eating it, they will verbally attack anyone who doesn't eat the same things. There's a difference between criticism (a personal attack) and giving someone who asks for your advice a fact-based wake-up-call out of love. If you criticize someone by giving unsolicited advice then that's you just trying to satisfy your own ego, or justifying your way of doing things, at the expense of their feelings. On the other hand, if somebody comes to you for advice and you are 100% honest with them without personally attacking them, that's not criticism, but a helpful wake-up call. Some people perceive everything as criticism, but that is not my fault. I tell people that if what they're doing doesn't work then stop trying to fool themselves and admit it doesn't work. I did that for years and I can tell you it's a downward spiral.
This is what I've learned, and what I know: Being overweight is not genetic, and it's not anybody else's fault once you've learned the facts and the truth. Entire families are screwing up their digestive systems and metabolisms with their poor diet and blaming it on genetics, because genetics can't be changed and it's an easy excuse for them not to have to change. Some people never learn any better and will continue the cycle through the next generation, but once the facts and the truth have been presented to you then it's all on you -- you are now fat and unhealthy because you refuse to make the necessary changes in spite of the facts staring you right in the face. That's being brutally honest. Fat families are fat because they've been eating too much of the wrong food, not enough of the right food, or preparing the right food the wrong way, for generation after generation. The wrong food is probably about 90% of what you're eating, and that's the standard American diet. It's no coincidence, and certainly has nothing to do with genetics, that most overweight pets have overweight owners. It's also no coincidence that in my family of five siblings the most health-conscious sister is the only one of us who has never been overweight. She grew up eating the same food as the rest of us, but she was always the most active physically, and when she became an adult, a nurse, and learned better she changed the way she ate. She makes a conscious effort to work on it.
It's all diet and lifestyle. Change your diet, and when you feel better the rest of your lifestyIe will change by default. Don't be afraid of it. You won't even have to make an effort at any other changes, because you'll feel so good that they'll just happen. Unless you're in a hospital bed being tube fed, or a prisoner, or somehow completely dependent on another person to feed you with no say at all, you have total control over what you put in your mouth. Just because it's in your kitchen doesn't mean you have to eat it. Make every bite count nutritionally and watch your life change for the better.
Here is all of the information you need below. Be warned though, that once you have educated yourself then it's all on you, and you have nobody to blame but yourself for your bad health and being overweight. You'll never be the same after gaining this knowledge, and if you're an intelligent person and care about yourself you'll never be able to eat your old comfort foods again without a twinge of guilt. Fight the addiction. Take responsibility and take control. Never give up. Never surrender.
Firstly, go to YouTube and search for "Joel Fuhrman", and watch the videos of his presentations. There is one particular four-part series of 15-minute videos that will give you the basics: Here is part 1. Then, go to Amazon or audible.com and get the audiobook "Eat to Live." Listen to it every chance you have, in your car, while you're folding laundry or doing dishes or mowing the lawn, when you take a break at work, etc. Relisten to it often to reinforce the knowledge. If you want more information he has other books too. The reason why I recommend the audiobook over print is because the information will sink in more quickly, and you will be more likely to find the time to listen, but not necessarily find the time to sit down and open a book. The entire book is narrated by the author, Dr. Joel Fuhrman, so you hear the information coming straight from the horses mouth.
As recommended, I also eat a lot of fruits, leafy greens, mushrooms, raw nuts and seeds. If you want to cook and follow his 50% cooked and 50% raw recommendation then go right ahead, but I need to do things the easy and quick way. See my previous posts for more details.
Why are we so damn worried about other people criticizing us, especially when it comes to how we take care of ourselves? Why do we let it change our course, or hold us back from what we know works for us? Criticism is counterproductive. Ignore it. I've had a lot of conversations with a lot of people recently, and I've been brutally honest with them when they ask me what I'm doing to lose weight. Brutally honest, fact-giving, and noncritical, because who am I to judge when I've only very recently come from the same place they're now at? If you come to me asking for advice then I'm honored, and will be honest and truthful, and I certainly won't patronize you by telling you only what you want to hear. I respect you too much to hold back the truth of what I've learned, from you.
For those people who want to criticize? First lead by example. You'd better be damn-near perfect if you're going to criticize anyone else about anything. If you're good at something then people will come to you for advice, so you don't have to give it away unsolicited. For example: Would you take health advice from people who don't look healthy, and are always complaining about how tired they are? Of course not, so why should you take any other kind of life advice or criticism from either mean-spirited, or misguided well-meaning people? Seek out the people who you know are experts, who you truly look up to, and make their advice and opinions the only ones that matter.
Many people, when they hear about how I now eat, immediately start mentally comparing the way I eat to the way they eat, and calculating all the things that they think are missing in my diet and they have no problem telling me why I should eat differently. Even if they're overweight and unhealthy! They suddenly become an expert in nutrition. It's just their own fear from years of conditioning and false information from so-called experts and people they trust, like their family members and sometimes even their doctor. Most of the time their intentions are good and they're worried about me, and I realize that.
Let me reassure you that I've done my research, I continue to learn, I am being monitored by a physician, I am not deficient in anything and feel great, I'm sleeping better at night (finally) and have lots more energy (without caffeine), so I will continue to do it my way. And, honestly, I would much rather be thin, fit and healthy with the possibility of one or two deficiencies that can be corrected, than an unhealthy, depressed, fat, ticking time bomb who is eating everything that everyone else thinks I should just so they don't have to face their own insecurity, lack of nutritional knowledge, and fears that maybe for their entire life they've been doing it the wrong way, and that, God forbid, mom was wrong.
People don't like change because it is sometimes scary and painful, or it's humiliating to admit that maybe they don't really know. People don't like giving up their comfort food even if it's slowly killing them, so in order not to have to give it up or feel guilty about eating it, they will verbally attack anyone who doesn't eat the same things. There's a difference between criticism (a personal attack) and giving someone who asks for your advice a fact-based wake-up-call out of love. If you criticize someone by giving unsolicited advice then that's you just trying to satisfy your own ego, or justifying your way of doing things, at the expense of their feelings. On the other hand, if somebody comes to you for advice and you are 100% honest with them without personally attacking them, that's not criticism, but a helpful wake-up call. Some people perceive everything as criticism, but that is not my fault. I tell people that if what they're doing doesn't work then stop trying to fool themselves and admit it doesn't work. I did that for years and I can tell you it's a downward spiral.
This is what I've learned, and what I know: Being overweight is not genetic, and it's not anybody else's fault once you've learned the facts and the truth. Entire families are screwing up their digestive systems and metabolisms with their poor diet and blaming it on genetics, because genetics can't be changed and it's an easy excuse for them not to have to change. Some people never learn any better and will continue the cycle through the next generation, but once the facts and the truth have been presented to you then it's all on you -- you are now fat and unhealthy because you refuse to make the necessary changes in spite of the facts staring you right in the face. That's being brutally honest. Fat families are fat because they've been eating too much of the wrong food, not enough of the right food, or preparing the right food the wrong way, for generation after generation. The wrong food is probably about 90% of what you're eating, and that's the standard American diet. It's no coincidence, and certainly has nothing to do with genetics, that most overweight pets have overweight owners. It's also no coincidence that in my family of five siblings the most health-conscious sister is the only one of us who has never been overweight. She grew up eating the same food as the rest of us, but she was always the most active physically, and when she became an adult, a nurse, and learned better she changed the way she ate. She makes a conscious effort to work on it.
It's all diet and lifestyle. Change your diet, and when you feel better the rest of your lifestyIe will change by default. Don't be afraid of it. You won't even have to make an effort at any other changes, because you'll feel so good that they'll just happen. Unless you're in a hospital bed being tube fed, or a prisoner, or somehow completely dependent on another person to feed you with no say at all, you have total control over what you put in your mouth. Just because it's in your kitchen doesn't mean you have to eat it. Make every bite count nutritionally and watch your life change for the better.
Here is all of the information you need below. Be warned though, that once you have educated yourself then it's all on you, and you have nobody to blame but yourself for your bad health and being overweight. You'll never be the same after gaining this knowledge, and if you're an intelligent person and care about yourself you'll never be able to eat your old comfort foods again without a twinge of guilt. Fight the addiction. Take responsibility and take control. Never give up. Never surrender.
Firstly, go to YouTube and search for "Joel Fuhrman", and watch the videos of his presentations. There is one particular four-part series of 15-minute videos that will give you the basics: Here is part 1. Then, go to Amazon or audible.com and get the audiobook "Eat to Live." Listen to it every chance you have, in your car, while you're folding laundry or doing dishes or mowing the lawn, when you take a break at work, etc. Relisten to it often to reinforce the knowledge. If you want more information he has other books too. The reason why I recommend the audiobook over print is because the information will sink in more quickly, and you will be more likely to find the time to listen, but not necessarily find the time to sit down and open a book. The entire book is narrated by the author, Dr. Joel Fuhrman, so you hear the information coming straight from the horses mouth.
As recommended, I also eat a lot of fruits, leafy greens, mushrooms, raw nuts and seeds. If you want to cook and follow his 50% cooked and 50% raw recommendation then go right ahead, but I need to do things the easy and quick way. See my previous posts for more details.
